How to pick the RIGHT bridesmaids


It’s time to start planning so you need to figure out who will be by your side on the big day! This part can be fun but can also be kind of stressful. DON’T LET IT GET STRESSFUL. Here are some things to think about when you start choosing your wedding party! 


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Once you ask you can’t take it back. Simply put. When you sit down to make your list of besties and go over that list 3 times before making it final.  


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Do you talk a lot [call or text]? How often do you see each other/hang out? Would you trust her opinion in a dressing room? When something big happens, would she be first 10 people you would call? Was she bridezilla on her day? Is she your sister? Is she your fiancés sister?  


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Okay, so he has 5 and you have 12. That has happened and it’s not a bad thing. You can honestly do anything you want at your wedding. But think about the flow of the ceremony and photos. Would if look weird having such an out of balance bridal party? Or do you not care? Having the bridesmaid and groomsman within 1 or 2 of each other is a good rule of thumb. Also how big will the actually wedding be? If you’re having an intimate wedding of 50 it may not be necessary to make sense to have 10 bridesmaids. Maybe just pick your sister and your bestie.  


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Do you have a brother or a sister? 9 times out of 10 you should really include them in the bridal party! If your fiancé isn’t okay with having your brother on his side [he should and probably will be] you can have a man of honor or man-maid lol! Its 2019 who cares! Change it up. If you haven’t talked to that sister or brother in years, yes you can leave them out but maybe consider giving them a reading or another role in the wedding. There are no RULES when it comes to choosing your party but some of these suggestions are just wedding etiquette. 


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This is where some brides really get torn and confused. You have been in 15 weddings, but you don’t know who to ask and you not to ask. You don’t want to offend anyone! There will always be one girl who is mad or pissed off, but she will get over it. Again, revert back to the question in step 1. If you say YES to most of those questions, ask! If its 50/50, take a step back and think about it. It’s not realistic to have every single woman in your wedding.  


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Are you having your ceremony in a church? Outside? What faith? There are so many roles you can give other people you care about but don’t want to put in the bridal party! You can delegate readings in the ceremony or service. You can make those other friends ushers to escort people to their seats or hand out programs. Any of these small duties will make them feel included and a part of the big day without major a commitment. 


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When you’re thinking about your wedding consider where your wedding is and what you will be asking of your bridesmaids. Will you be having tons of pre-wedding events these maids will need to be at? Think about your girl’s financial status. Are they employed? Are they in school? Will they be able to attend your events, or will they be too strapped for cash? You don’t want to ask girls of things you know they will financially not be able to swing.


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I know from personal experience, I would have rather had my maids at the important events leading up to the big day. Many of them backed out last minute or couldn’t attend because of finances and it really made me feel badly for asking them in the first place. The worst thing is having some of the girls feel left out or not attend. If you express how much they mean to you and just give them a role in the wedding I am sure they will be appreciative.  


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So, all in all ladies. It’s up to you. It’s your big day and you can have whoever the heck you want by your side. Have grandma if you want! Just make sure you really take onto consideration the things above to make a smart and logical decision.

No matter what, it’s your day. Listen to your gut.



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